Feel the love…

As published by Boris Johnson when editor of the Spectator

JAMES MICHIE’s FRIENDLY FIRE

The Scotch – what a verminous race!

Canny, pushy, chippy, they’re all over the place,

Battening off us with false bonhomie,

Polluting our stock,

undermining our economy.

Down with sandy hair and knobbly knees!

Suppress the tartan dwarves and the Wee Frees!

Ban the kilt, the skean-dhu and the sporran

As provocatively, offensively foreign!

It’s time Hadrian’s Wall was refortified

To pen them in a ghetto on the other side.

I would go further. The nation

Deserves not merely

isolation

But comprehensive

extermination.

We must not flinch from a solution.

(I await legal prosecution.)

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